A “tug” from a local spa employee came as a surprise to one rather naïve patron, Horace Bann. Mr. Bann who was simply seeking out some lower back muscle relief after a long day in the office, ended up receiving much more. In fact, it was also the first time in the spa’s five-year history, that a gentleman entered the premises with a request for services that did not go beyond a simple back massage.

“He act completely surprise when I pull his pant,” said Yushi Yu-Chin, an employee of the infamous NYC rub n’ tug where notorious celebrities and politicians such as Michael Cera, John Boehner and Kareem Abdul Jabar have been spotted.

“Mr. Bann just say ‘hey, what are you doing?’ and I just smile and then he just smile,” explained Yu-Chin about the transaction.

“No doubt, I was surprised, but generally pleased,” said Mr. Bann. “My back still aches, though I suppose that’s not really the point here.”

Photo by Joe Shlabotnik/Flickr

For those who enjoy laying out in Central Park on a summer weekend afternoon, it’s par for the course that you will be struck by a football, a shirtless twenty-two year old making a heroic one-handed frisbee catch, or, quite often, a javelin spear.

But to the dismay of many New Yorkers and javelin enthusiasts, New York Parks & Recreation have now banned javelin toss — a popular, relatively benign sport. The sport, played with a metal-tipped spear used primarily in track & field or in the past to kill wooly mammoths, was deemed “too dangerous for a crowded park filled with hundreds of sunbathers.”

The ban was made in Sheep Meadow, Central Park immediately after a few hundred people were accidentally speared in various areas — limbs, chest, neck, nut sack — last Sunday afternoon.

As it turns out, there is far less friction on an ice rink than there is on a baseball field. Just ask Daniel Santorium, 18, a Freshman student studying pre-law at Boston College. After learning of the courageous Philadelphia Phillies baseball fan who was brutally tased by security after running out on the field at Citizens Bank Park Monday night, Mr. Santorium showed his Flyers loyalty and did just the same at the Boston’s TD Garden, home of the Boston Bruins hockey team.

With the hopes of frolicking around the ice and evading security before being heroically taken down by 50,000 volts of electricity, Mr. Santorium climbed over the railing where the Flyers entered the ice before the third period of play at Monday’s matchup against the Bruins and made his way on the ice while both teams were warming up.

Mere seconds after high-stepping his way across the goal line while waving a white towel, Mr. Santorium anti-climatically slipped backwards and struck the back of his head on the ice surface. Due to a concussion (and fractured tail bone), he may never even remember his daring display of sports fan martyrdom. Most unfortunate however, Mr. Santorium was never tasered by security before a jeering and masochistic crowd of 25,000 people and millions of YouTube viewers.