2010
- August
- Javelin Toss Banned At Central Park's Sheep Meadow
- May
- Inspired By Heroic Baseball Fan Tasered At Phillies Game, Hockey Fan Runs Out On Ice
- April
- Adding Insult to Injury, Seagull Dips Chip in Salsa Before Flying Off
- February
- After Shower Man Forgets To Rinse Soap From Under Sack, Again
- January
- Scraggly Brooklynite Not Actually On Last Leg Of Epic Tour
2009
- December
- Office Intern Updates Facebook Status Every 3 Minutes To Remind Friends, Fans How Busy She Is
- October
- Restroom Line Held Up By Man Resting
- September
- Empire Carpet Only Phone Number Area Man Recalls After Arrest
- Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann Is Linked To High-End Gigolo Ring
- August
- Bomb-Sniffing Dog To Lay Dog: 'Get a Fu--ing Job'
- Local Man Forced To Get Creative in Relieving Anus Itch
- All Staff At Local Non-Profit Convinced All Staff But Them Is F--ing Incompetent
- July
- 'Soda Or Pop' Debate Breaks Ice On Teen Date
- Hazing Gets Out Of Hand At Hogwarts
- News Illiterate Friend Takes On Role Of News Distributor
- June
- Hetero Dog Furious After Gay Owner Parades Him In Gaudy Collar
- As It Turns Out, God Does Not Understand Sarcasm
- History Teacher Lobbies To Put Own Spin On US History Course Title
- College Student Uses 'Myriad' Whenever Possible
- Straphanger Convinced Stranger Was Secretly Attracted to Him
- Women's Studies Major Struggling To Gain His Credibility After First Semester
- May
- Chick In Great Mood Dishes Out Unwarranted Compliments
- High-Profile Excavation In Austria Yields Shocking Results
- Man 'Hits The Sack' Night Before Bar Exam
- Demonic Temple Faces Financial Hardship
- World Tiddlywinks Competition Goes Down To The Wire
- Shrieks From Jonas Bros. Fans To Be Harnessed For Alternative Energy
- Area Narcissist Can't Restrain From Peeking At Own Reflection In Every Shop Window
- 'Short Spurt' Bottle Opening Method Fails Man During Conference
- Family Still Not Entirely Sure Why Dad Incessantly Hammers In Basement
- Ice Maker Earns '2009 TIME 100 World's Most Uninfluential' Mention
- Wolverine Sucks An Adamantium Wang
- Bob Dylan: 'Quit Using Your Shitty Art As A Tribute To Me'
- April
- Urinal 'Conversationalist' Irks Adjacent Man With Excessive Eye Contact
- Breaking News: Elevator Exchange Unrelated To Weather
- Man Who Claims To 'Speaks His Mind' Really Just Bigot
- Man Squanders Perfect 'That's What She Said' Opportunity
- Chick Responds To Relationship Woes By Assembling Team Of 8 Loyalists
- Man 'Jumps Into Shower'
- Are 'HJ' Themed Parties Bad For Our Teens?
- FOX News Hosts Awkward Gathering At Alamo
- Badonkadonk Cause Of Major Subway Foot Traffic
- Women Know So Much More Than Men!
- March
- Area Gay Man Really, REALLY Wants Those Jeans In Store Window
- Breaking News: Local, Legendary Street Pimp Calls it Quits
- And Now, A Special Message From UPS
- Mysterious Man In B'ckgrnd Of Pic 'Flips Off' Camera
- Woman Dials Into Conference Call Twenty Minutes Late, Sneezes, Chomps Chips
- After Posing In Photo, Anticipation Just Too Great For One Chick
- Moocher Friend Finally Buys Round
- Jim Jarmusch’s Next Film Slated To be About ‘Nothing.’
- Unlikely Pair: Intern and IT Guy On Same Morning Dump Schedule
- Female Foes Cross Paths, Praise Each Other's Jeans, Hair, Handbags
- Area Man Flattered By Spam Mail Solicitations
- Fitness Reporter Uses 'Economic Angle' For 75th Consecutive Column
- Run Of Mill Guy Has Nerve To Say, 'She's Not My Type'
- Man Recognizes Bulging Midsection In CNN's Special Report, 'Fit Nation: Obesity Fight'
- Area Restaurant-Goer Takes 'Start Eating Without Me' Offer Off The Table
- February
- Coffee Breath Plagues Urban Classroom
- Parent Praises Child's Unsightly Artwork
- Without Her Diva Suglasses, Area Chick Just Isn't Hot
- Pew Report: Media Bias Towards Dogs
- The Worst Films of All Time…..Enjoy.
- God On Award Ceremonies: 'Why The Hell Does Everyone Insist On Giving Me All The Credit?'
- Workload and Deadline Complaints Consume Employee for Full Work Day
- Homeless Masturbation Sightings Becoming a Menace In Hancock Park
- Trust Fund Hippie Gives Non Sensical Explanation For Ownership of High Exhaust SUV
- Guitar Remains Idle in Hipster's Bedroom
- Ben and Jerry’s Release Controversial Very Berry-ied Penis Flavor
- Photographer Discovers The Quirky Beauty In East Village
- Area Woman Convinced 'Irregardless' Makes Her Appear Smart
- January
- Dog Licks Area Dog’s Rear, Then Owner’s Face
- iPhone Human Affection Application Creates Stir
- Lush Left Stranded by Supposed BFF in Local Bar
- Young Man Vocal About Dream Makes No Effort to Pursue Dream
- Reverse Toilet-Sitting, A Growing Trend
