Tim Sawchuck IV is an absolute idiot. At least that’s what he called himself after prematurely stepping out of the shower last Tuesday morning.

“I was in a rush to get to work,” Sawchuck explained. “I was an absolute idiot … after stepping out of the shower, I felt an unusual slippery sensation between my legs — 30 seconds later, I realized I didn’t thoroughly rinse off.”

Early reports indicate that Sawchuck did not even spend a mere second to ensure that all areas of his body were properly washed, and stepped out of the shower like a fool, leaving a smidgen of Dove Men’s Body Wash in an often ignored crevasse.

“I started drying off and then was real pissed off when I realized I had to get all wet again. What a damn bummer”

Check back tomorrow to hear the full interview with our reporter who discovered the story.