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Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) was a client of a high-end gigolo ring broken up last week by federal authorities, according to It’s So True. An outspoken critic who recently said that she “under no certain circumstances” would give the government “control over her body” or her “health care decisions” is facing a scandal that may soon unveil vivid details concerning her body to the entire world. This development threatens to end her career and possibly dismantle the G.O.P.’s chances in the 2010 elections.

It’s So True’s nifty wiretap captured a woman identified as “Client 5″ on a cellphone conversation confirming plans to have a man fly from Los Angeles to Washington, where she had booked a hotel room, according to an affidavit filed in federal court in Los Angeles.

While critics of Bachmann will consider this development a travesty, die-hard Bachmann supporters will spin this as yet another female, high-profile politician succumbing to the pressures of stressful political life by means of sexual exploitation.

One of our reporters, coincidentally client number 6 of the same high-end gigolo ring, sensed something suspicious when she noticed Ms. Bachmann briskly walking out of the same hotel room in Washington as a topless callboy she recognized waved goodbye while holding a stack of one-hundred dollar bills. After further investigation and wiretaps, it became clear from documents that Ms.Bachmann was, indeed, client number 5. While journalists and political scientists may argue endlessly over the respectability of this number, it is more satisfactory than client number 9, as former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer would likely attest.

Sources say that Ms. Bachmann will hold a press conference tomorrow afternoon. Various friends and sources say her husband plans to stand directly adjacent to her as she apologizes to Minnesota and the Republican party.

Stay tuned to It’s So True for more details.

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